39 weeks and 5 days. I’m still pregnant (and still enjoying the experience). Below is a letter I wrote to Lucy…and a recipe for an Apple Walnut Pie. A family favorite that would make 4th of July or really any celebration a little bit better.
Dear Lucy,
I could fill a book with my thoughts towards you (and perhaps one day I will) but as the days draw close to your birth, my mind circles around these few simple words.
Light. Your name means bringer of light. We found out I was pregnant with you after months of being told, “it just wouldn’t happen.” We, like scared children, were given you, this great gift of life, after the deaths of your papa’s father…of our nephew, Jeremy…of my sister, your aunt Pam…of her husband, your Uncle Mike. Lucy, we had spent too many nights in Intensive Care Units, holding the hands of our loved ones, saying goodbye. We walked around like victims of a war we didn’t start…and didn’t know how to end. Little did we know that restoration would come with a round blob on an ultrasound screen. The day we heard your heart beat was the day our own hearts finally began to heal. We learned that light always comes. No matter how dark or how long the night seems.
Laughter. You make us laugh already. By how you respond to our voices, shifting my belly from the right to the left. And those tiny hiccups that we can feel in the mornings and the evenings, our hands pressed up tight against your hidden chest. We want our home to brim with laughter. We want you to grow up surrounded by joy. We will delight in who you are, and we hope you can see how much we delight in each other.
Longing. Within your papa and me are deep longings for things beyond this world. There is much that our culture celebrates and encourages—this endless accumulation of possession and notoriety. But Lucille Amelia, no possession can begin to replicate the love of another human being, the true companionship of a friend. No job or title or success story can soothe your soul like a walk through an untouched forest, like sitting beside a crashing sea. We will help you find success in this world, but more importantly we hope to awaken a longing for things beyond…and show you what it means to live a fulfilled life.
I want you here now. These last few days are bittersweet. We have been together for months now. I know your movements as if they were my own. But I’ll never be far from you. Your soul and my soul will always be attached, even when our bodies are no longer depending on the same life source. So we’re waiting and we’re ready and we’re so thankful for this gift.
Apple Walnut Pie
2 discs of pie dough (homemade or store-bought)
6-8 large granny smith apples, peeled and thinly sliced
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup walnuts
1 lemon
4 tablespoons butter
1 egg lightly beaten
2 teaspoons cane sugar
2 tablespoons finely chopped walnuts
In a food processor, pulse together sugar and walnuts, about 10-15 seconds. Place sliced and peeled apples in a large bowl and pour sugar mixture over top. Squeeze lemon over apples and gently stir. Set aside.
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. On lightly floured surface, slightly flatten one pastry disc. Roll it from center to edges to form a circle 12 inches in diameter. Wrap pastry circle around the rolling pin. Unroll pastry into a 9-inch pie pan or plate. Trim pastry even with rim of pie pan and spoon in apple-walnut mixture. (Leave extra juice in the bottom of your bowl). Cut butter into 8 small dabs. Place on top of apple-walnut mixture.
Roll remaining ball of pastry into a circle 12 inches in diameter. Place pastry circle on top of your apple filling. Cut a few large slits on the surface to allow steam to escape. Crimp edges as desired. Brush with egg and sprinkle with 2 teaspoons of cane sugar and 2 tablespoons chopped walnuts.
To prevent overbrowning, cover the edge of your pie crust with foil. Place on a foil-lined baking sheet and bake the apple pie for 35 minutes. Remove foil. Bake 20 to 25 minutes longer or until fruit is tender and filling is bubbly. Cool on wire rack; serve slightly warm with vanilla icecream. Makes 10 servings.
You letter is so profound and touching that I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, sweet Monet! Lucy is such a fortunate little girl to have you and Ryan to raise her to appreciate what is important in this world. After the rough times you’ve experienced the past few years, you deserve all the love and light that you can hold in your hearts. Bask in it…and remember that light ALWAYS comes after the darkness. I really think that the sad times make us truly appreciate the happy blessings all the more when we receive them. I hope you bring Miss Lucy for a visit to Austin in the coming months. I think I must meet her in person!!
So sweet, you are going to be a great mother and Lucy will love to read this some day. Just a note: I wrote a letter to my baby one night last winter, and she ended up arriving the next day 😉
Hi Monet,
Your sweet beautiful letter to Lucy is so touching! It is a beautiful letter! Like how both of you are blessed to have baby Lucy, Lucy is blessed to have both you and Ryan as her wonderful parents!
And that’s a lovely pie!
Take care, Monet!
That letter is so wonderful Monet. Brought tears to me eyes. I can’t wait to meet Lucy–soon! <3
Oh Monet. This may be one of the few times that I wish I had been pregnant with Dudette. What a sweet, poignant letter to your little one.
Such a lovely letter and pie 🙂
What an incredibly sweet sentiment to your daughter, Monet! Definitely tugged on my heart strings and made me so excited for the day when my hubby and I have a child, too. You and Ryan have such a big, exciting adventure ahead of you with this precious little peanut and I wish you so much joy, happiness and laughter! xoxo
Monet, the love you already feel for Lucy is so strong, so beautiful. This is a letter she will cherish, and a memory that will sustain you as you raise her. Thank you for sharing this with us, my heart is brimming right now!
This apple pie looks classic and wonderful and delicious.
More importantly, that letter to your daughter was beautiful, she is so lucky to have you two as parents.
What a beautiful post and how lucky your little Lucy is to have such a loving and caring family waiting for her arrival.
I bet she hears you loud and clear and can’t wait to snuggle into your arms. GREG
Monet,
Your letter is a wonderful tribute to your love for Lucy, something that both of you will treasure forever. Hopefully, Lucy will arrive soon:)
The gorgeous apple pie will be part of the celebration, when she arrives
What a beautiful letter, Monet. Catalina is 16 months now, and no more than 2 minutes ever pass when my heart doesn’t feel like bursting with the huge amounts of love I have for her and our family. The first 2 months of newborn life are hard, but the happiness and joy that they give are unsurpassable. I hope Lucy gets here soon. I can’t wait to see you and Ryan as parents (though you already are now, and great ones at that).
Your letter is so beautifully written Monet – such a wonderful thing to write for your Lucy. I hope she gets here soon so you can meet her : ) And this pie sounds delicious!
What a beautiful letter to your daughter. One day, many years from now, she will read it and feel the love of so many in those words.
THis pie looks amazing!!! What a sweet letter.. Shes going to be on lucky little girl!
So much hope and sweetness for your dear sweet Lucy! You are going to be wonderful parents! Holding my breath as we all wait for her arrival – it shouldn’t be much longer now. I’d love to sink my teeth into your beautiful pie!
Beautiful post! thinking of you guys and sending positive vibes your way.Lucy is already a lucky little lady!!! I cannot wait to “meet” her! XO
Oh, Monet… what a beautiful letter! I wish I had thought to put down some of my thoughts at that time. There were so many things in my head, but everything was somehow different after they were born. I’m so happy that you have these entries that will always be here for Little Lucy to read. She will cherish them someday! I’m so eager to see her photo… thinking of you in the last few days. Hang in there! She will be in your arms in no time.
Monet I am so sorry for your losses, I did not know…
Your letter is so sweet and one day your daughter will be able to read it here. =)
I miss some good organic apples and the walnuts from my grandmothers house. The tree is long gone and so is my grandma too. but the pies made of it were the best ever. I bet yours is awesome too!
aw, monet, i definitely got some goose bumps from this one! what a sweet note, and how lucky your little girl is to be coming into such a loving environment.
and obviously, the pie looks fantastic! 🙂
Sweet Monet, now I am crying, I cannot believe it…I am thinking about you and your baby a lot these days, always wondering if I will see a picture of her sweet little face soon…what a touching posts, your thoughts will carry me through the day and the pie that looks so utterly delicious will have to wait a little while…
So, again, all the very best and tons of hugs and kisses from the girls and myself!
Bis bald, meine Liebe!
Beautiful letter, beautiful pie, beautiful you. No doubt Lucy is lucky to have you. Can’t wait for the news!
This post is so, so beautiful – a love letter to a lucky little girl. What a sweet and caring family she will be born into, one that will guide her as she discovers the wonders of this world. I was so happy to hear your and Ryan’s dream was coming true, and soon little Lucy will be in your arms! Very close now …
In the meantime, enjoy this delicious pie 🙂 Thinking of you!
I absolutely cried while reading this. Is it strange that I feel similarly…that someday having a baby will finally heal me from my father’s death? I just have the belief that some new life will be infused with his spirit and that that will bring me peace. Gorgeous post.
Just beautiful. I hope you have that darling in your arms soon. Your sweet Lucy is taking her time, isn’t she?
What a loving letter to your sweet girl. It is true that you will never be separate. I check the computer every morning for news of dear Lucy’s debut!
Best,
Bonnie
Your letter made me teary in such a beautiful way. I can’t tell you how much I love that her name means ‘bringer of light’. I’m so excited for the big announcement of her arrival. Sending love!
Every little girl or boy should be so lucky to have a Mom who writes a letter so toughtful, so full of love!
I look forward to meeting your little Princess, she will grow up to be a happy, confident, radiant woman!
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oh this is so so sweet and meaningful. Thank you for sharing! It’s just beautiful!
Dear Lucy,
I know you’re not even here yet, but wait till you see what a lucky little girl you are! ♥
Beautiful and from the heart, as always, Monet. I wish you a speedy delivery!
Wonderful post and wonderful letter!
Dear Monet, I am sure Lucy will treasure this letter always.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Blessings dearest. Catherine xo
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You are going to be the greatest parents ever! Your love is so vibrant, it warms my heart! What a wonderful idea writing your daughter a letter. As she grows up, these types of things are going to make her realize how unconditionally she is loved and protected. So happy for you and your husband, lady!
That letter was so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye! and that pie looks so amazing my stomach is rumbling!
Beautiful. Truly beautiful. Thank you.
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Roll out pastry and cut 6 circles, large enough to wrap around each apple. Put teaspoon … over apple dumplings. Bake for 40-45 minutes … processor. Chill until needed.
4. Wrap pastry circle around the rolling pin. Unroll into a 9-inch pie plate. Ease pastry into pie plate without stretching it.
Roll out rest of pastry to form a 10-inch circle. With knife or pastry wheel, cut into 12 strips, 1/2-inch wide. Slightly moisten rim of pie shell with cold water. Arrange 6 pastry strips across the filling; press edges to rim of pie shell, trim the ends, if necessary. Arrange rest of strips at right angle to the first strips, to form lattice. Bring overhang of pastry up over ends of strips; crimp edge. Mix egg yolk with 1 tablespoon water; brush on lattice, not edge.
Tasty combinations of apples, spices, sweeteners and pastry were known to ancient cooks. Medieval Europeans used apples frequently. They also perfected pie. When they settled in the New World, they brought their apple pie recipes with them. Apple crisp, apple betty, brown betty, apple slump , apple grunt, apple cobbler, apple pot pie, fried apple pies, apple bread pudding, & apple pandowdy are delicious American cousins descending from a common Old World culinary tradition. Essentially: one recipe done a dozen delicious ways.
Meanwhile, prepare Apple Pie Pastry. Roll two-thirds of the pastry to a 12-inch circle. Transfer to a 9-inch pie plate. Trim pastry to 1/2 inch beyond edge of pie plate. Fold under extra pastry. Crimp edge as desired. Add prepared apple filling, spreading evenly. Dot with butter.
On a sheet of lightly floured waxed paper, roll the pastry into a 12-inch circle with a floured rolling pin. Invert the pastry over the apples, center it, and peel off the paper. Lifting the edge of the pastry, tuck the edge straight down along the inside of the pan. Poke several large vent holes in the pastry with a paring knife, twisting the knife to enlarge the holes.