As I type, one of my dearest friends is preparing to welcome her baby girl into the world. Her body is moving through the necessary changes. Opening. Contracting. Stretching. I live about an hour away from her, and I’m already anticipating the moment I get to see her with her child. Birth is such a miraculous event. Eleven weeks out from Lucy’s birth, I’m still reeling in a flood of wonder. But as my friend and I chatted last night, I thought about the weeks that follow birth. The adjustment, especially for first time parents, of having a newborn in your home. So much emphasis is placed on pregnancy and childbirth…we often forget how much new mothers need support and love. These were five gifts I received during my first few weeks post-partum. They’re the gifts I hope to give to my friends and family when they welcome little ones into the world.
1. Food. I can’t tell you much it meant to have a homemade meal delivered to my door. For FIVE weeks, friends and family brought meal after meal after meal. We dined on grilled salmon, roasted chicken, fresh salads, whole grain bread…the list goes on and on. The last thing I thought about during my recovery was making a meal. Instead, Ryan and I focused on learning how to eat with a newborn (which is quite a lesson, believe me!)
2. Breastfeeding support. Contrary to what I thought, breastfeeding is hard. It takes days, weeks, months even to learn how to breastfeed. Both mom and baby are new to the game, and for many, it can be a struggle. I received loving support and encouragement from my family, from friends, from a lactation consultant, and my doula. I can’t tell you how much it meant to receive a text message from Ryan’s cousin. She told me she understood how hard it could be and offered simple and practical tips. Just hearing that I wasn’t the only one who had struggled made me feel SO MUCH BETTER. Whenever I talk to a new mom now, I’m always quick to share my own struggle with breastfeeding and to offer hope. We learned how to do it, and you will too!
3. A non-judgmental ear. I’ll be honest: there were moments when I felt like I had made a mistake. “Having a baby was simply too hard,” I thought. “I’m not cut out for this. I’m a bad mother.” These thoughts were accompanied with tears. Lots of tears. My hormones were fluctuating rapidly, and I had touched of post-partum depression. The one thing I really needed (and thank God, I received!) was someone to talk to, someone who listened to me without judgment and who encouraged me with gentle words. My mother and doula were life-savers. They helped me navigate during those first few weeks of emotional fogginess. If you’re a new mom, please know that it’s okay to feel these emotions. Find someone you trust and share your fears, your frustrations, and your tears.
4. Laughter. There aren’t many situations that laughter doesn’t help. Be it a funny text from my best friend or a marathon session of That 70’s Show on Netflix, the gift of laughter helped me through many tired and emotional days.
5. Understanding company. When first caring for a baby, you can feel like you’ll never enter the world of adults again. Those first few weeks are SO DEMANDING on a new mom. It can be hard to find time to take a shower, let alone get out of the house to visit a friend. Thankfully, I was blessed by friends and family who took the time to come and visit. They brought us food. They picked up coffee. They helped organize my house while I sat on the couch and nursed Lucy for what felt like the thousandth time. They provided me with much-needed adult companionship. But they never hovered. They made me feel like I could honestly express my needs. There were many times when I said, “You know I love you, but I think I need to go back into the bedroom and take a nap.” And they understood. They gave me a hug and Lucy a kiss and then they were on their way. Those brief and thoughtful visits were god-sends.
These banana bread cookies would be wonderful treats to bring a new mom. A cookie can make a midnight nursing session A LOT more pleasurable. And did you know that oats boost milk supply? A win-win on all fronts. These cookies are chewy, moist, and full of spice. I had a hard time just eating one (and I know I’ll have a few when I nurse Lucy later on tonight!)
Banana Bread Cookies
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves
12 TBSP butter, melted and cooled
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 banana, mashed
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, salt and spices. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream together melted butter and sugars. Stir in bananas and vanilla. Stir in egg. Fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients. Fold walnuts and rolled oats into cookie dough. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and allow to chill in refrigerator for 30-60 minutes (not necessary…but definitely improves the texture!)
Scoop 2 TBSP of cookie dough onto cookie sheet. If desired, place a thin slice of banana on top of each cookie dough mound. Bake for 10 minutes in preheated oven (cookies will look slightly underdone). Allow to cool five minutes on cookie sheet before removing to cool on rack. Repeat with remaining dough.
Monet, I do not think that I have ever seen cookies like these before – what a very creative recipe! They sound delicious with the warm spices and the healthy walnuts and oats – perfect as an autumnal treat!
Your post is so wonderful – all these important things that you point out and that we can all relate to – while I am reading this, I am glad to learn (again) that you got so much support and love from your wonderful family and friends!
All the best from very rainy and cool Bonn, dear Monet!
Hugs, I totally understand how tough the first months are… they pass quickly, hang in there 😉 These biscuits look delicious, definitely comfort food.
I love bringing food to all of my friends who have just had babies!! I can imagine I’ll definitely want a good home cooked meal that I don’t have to make after I (someday) give birth. These are such lovely tips. And lovely cookies to go along with them!
These cookies are now on my list Monet. I love banana bread so I know these cookies will be a huge hit with me. I think your honesty about being a new mom is remarkable. You are writing what so many new mom’s think, feel, and experience. I wish you had been around when I was a new mom (so many years ago). You would have put my mind to ease. Have a great day!
Aw it sounds like you had such a wonderful support system there for you, you are so lucky and it’s so great! And thank you for, as always, sharing all your sweet words and wisdom, I learn so much whenever I visit here.
And additionally-these cookies look gorgeous and delicious! I love the banana slices on top, too!
I’m just starting to like banana bread (I have a weird thing about bananas in general lol) and these cookies sound great! And so portable too – which I love : ) I always try to bring food to family/friends who just had babies – I can’t even imagine how hard those first weeks are!
What an exciting time for parents. What a life changing event too.
These cookies are made with love and will provide pleasure and nourishment.
Take care.
Velva
These cookies sound great and look so pretty with the banana slice on top! What a sweet friend you are, Monet, and I’m sure you’ll be super helpful when your friend gives birth. Love these tips 🙂
First, these cookies are adorable (can cookies be adorable??). I love the banana slices on top, and they look so delicious!
Second, I feel more prepared for our future kiddies after reading your posts. Just hearing about how hard it can be and what kind of support to look for (I need to remind myself it’s ok to ask for help!) is so important. I know I’ll be revisiting this list again!
P.S. I LOVE That 70’s Show!
Having a 6 month old I completely agree with your new Mum list of suggestions! A girlfriend also gave me a little gift bag with some juice, snacks, magazine & shower gel which was lovely! I’ve tried to repeat this gesture with friends!
What a great recipe, love the little banana slice on top!
I hope lots of new moms or soon to be new moms can read your blog and your words of wisdom – definitely a huge help
I know now, many years after the fact, that one of my sisters had a serious case of post-partum depression, but in those days the syndrome was not even recognized as such – she struggled in complete loneliness
we are all very lucky to live on a time in which most people do understand and are willing to help.
You are doing GREAT!
These are great my dear! They look so tasty!
You are so lucky to have such an amazing support system. You seem to be doing great my love. One day at a time 🙂
Monet,
It’s great that you have such a wonderful support system to rely on. You express the needs of new Moms so well.
I think a couple of these cookies would be a welcome treat to any new Mom. I love the banana slices on top.
Hi Monet –
Thank you for the banana bread cookie recipe. I pinned it a moment ago – not because I am a new mother, but because I am an old mother and I am thinking of making them and sending them to my daughter and her friends at college!
You seem so wise for a first-time mother. I agree with everything you say – the memories are still vivid. People coming over to see the baby and not understanding how tired I was. How valuable the little things were (my husband used to cut my food for me so I could nurse the baby and eat dinner at the same time)! And how essential the support is for successful breastfeeding. A little encouragement from someone who’s done it before makes all the difference. Bonus: once you master it, breastfeeding subsequent children is a breeze.
I love your blog. Please keep it up!
My friend had her second son on Thursday. Next week I’m stopping by with my own care package – granola and edamame for snacking, and a big pitcher of citrus “punch” to help keep her hydrated!
This is great advice, especially because my best friend just had a baby girl the other day!!
And these cookies? They look like perfection!!
I love banana bread, but I never thought to convert it to cookie form. This is a great idea — and I’m sure cookies are much easier to eat while nursing that banana bread would have been! I also didn’t know that oats can increase milk production. A good fact for me to store away for use if/when we start a family.
When friends have a new addition to their family, I tend to make them food. Glad to know it’s appreciated! Also I don’t think you need a new baby to be able to appreciate these cookies 🙂
Such a healthy looking dish.
It is so true you really don’t know how hard it is until you’re thick in the middle of it. Having a non-judgmental ear and support is so important because really the only way to do it is to figure out what is right for you. Every evening at 5pm the first few weeks after having my son I would cry and cry. The hormones and being so overtired is a huge challenge. It was wonderful of you to share your honest thoughts as I know they will help many other new Moms. Sending hugs your way!
Dear Monet, It is difficult, especially when you think “everyone else can do this why can’t I!”. I was at the same junction as you. I am glad that you are finding it easier now.
I am glad you have support and love. Remember to believe in yourself and trust your instincts and judgement. Someone one told me, “you are smarter than you know”. I try to remember that even today.
The cookies will be very appreciated.
Blessings dearest and hugs, Catherine xo
i will definitely need to come to this post when I become a mommy who knows when that is but…on a side note – home made food/baked goods are extremely thoughtful. PS Lucy is too adorable.
Mmmm, these cookies look so delicious 😀
And lovely advice!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Cute little slices of bananas on those cookies!
That photo of Lucy on FB is so gorgeous. She is really looking less like a baby and more like a little girl. I love the head band! My sister lives in LA and she is pregnant with her second child. She doesn’t know what she’s having – wants it to be a surprise. She’s just had her 30-week check-up and all is going well. She’s had a few dramas with miscarriages and fertility in the past so she’s her first was born when she was 43 and this time she’s 46! We’re very excited for her as we thought she tragically, may never have children. God is blessing her! I’m so pleased so many were there to help you in those first few weeks. I wish I could be in LA to help my sister xx
You summed up those 5 gifts so well – having been through it, I agree and I could’ve used some of those gifts for sure. It is indeed hard – in many ways – and rewarding at the same time. All the feelings are normal. Thank goodness for good food, like these cookies, and people to help us through.
I can’t tell you how much posts like this mean to me! With my little one due in 10 short weeks, I’m trying to prepare myself as much as possible!
You are such a wonderful mother, wife, and friend! I love that you’re perpetuating this list and though I don’t have any babies of my own, I can appreciate that you managed to find laughter and smiles through the shower of tears. Your posts always manage to pull at my heart strings =)
I would like 12 of these cookies on my plate right now!
I’m not a mother but I think your words are encouraging for current moms and moms to be!
It’s so good to read things like it. My imagination of having a child is/was different. I tought that in most cases this is fun and lovely adventure. It’s so good tolearn that I can be frustrated or scared and that my hormons can get wild on my mind. And now I know that I’ll bake cookies to each new mum I know!
Super post. A lot of great info. And best of all, these cookies! Anyone would love to be gifted these – they’re terrific looking!
Monet, as I read through this beautiful post, I only wish I could have benefited from the support a hopeful message like yours delivers to new mothers (the internet age had not really taken foot in my early mom years). I struggled with so many of the moments/emotions you describe and often felt alone. You are blessed to be so well surrounded and I am struck by the beauty and poetry of your writing (and your family).
Your honesty about motherhood is so commendable my friend. Thanks so much for sharing and I know it’s tough sometimes but above it all, you are a great mom to Lucy no matter what 🙂
Love this twist on a traditional bread recipe. Yum!
Hi Monet, I am back and catching up on all my reading(going backwards… can’t wait to see pictures of Lucy and how much she has grown!) and just wanted to tell you this post is spot on. I felt the same way with my kids, especially my first. I felt inadequate, nursing was really hard and ended badly both times (with my first I felt guilty of not having tried enough, of having failed because I didn’t have enough support but it turned out I just had too little milk) and I always find it shocking how much people prepare you for pregnancy and childbirth but not for breast feeding and the first months with a new born. That is the hardest part because let’s face it: pregnancy and childbirth happen whether you want to or not, it is just a natural process while feeding your child and adjusting to a newborn is not, at least not in today’s society. It probably was easier in past centuries when big families lived together and there was a large network of women to help you and what a woman did exclusively was be a mother. I always feel bad being the one to burst an expecting mother ‘s bubble by telling them what happens after, how wonderful yet difficult those first weeks can be, so I usually don’t. What do you think is the right approach?
These cookies look amazing! I love banana bread and I bet it translates brilliantly into cookie form! this is such a good list I’m going to have to remember it when my friends start having babies!