I am typing while nursing. Not a small feat in case you haven’t tried. Lucy nurses around twelve times a day. While we spend most of those nursing sessions gazing into each others eyes, I have tried to take at least one or two to write. This is most often an unsuccessful endeavor, but I have had a few days where it’s worked. Lucy is content at my breast and my hands are free to pound out a sentence, a paragraph, a page.
This time last July, I was readying myself for the final year of my Masters of Fine Arts Program. I had spent the previous two years learning what it meant to be a writer and mucking around with poor attempts at short stories and novels. I eventually realized that my strongest work was personal–intensely personal–and I began writing short pieces that eventually became my thesis which will eventually (let’s hope!) become my memoir. Two weeks after Lucy’s birth, I received my diploma in the mail. I had made a baby and I had officially finished graduate school. 2013 was quite the year. Feelings of pride might have swelled if I didn’t feel like there was still so much work to be done. My memoir is about 75% complete, but those last thirty or forty pages feel as distant as the moon.
I am now typing with one hand while I hold Lucy with the other. As you might imagine, it’s slow going. But because this experiment is essential, I press on. I’m on a new journey to find a balance between motherhood and writing. This little baby is my greatest gift, and I hope that one day I’ll be able to sufficiently capture in words how much she means to me. But as for now, I’m just working on carving out space for my long-loved passion. Somehow, I must mother AND write.
And so this is one of the first lessons I’m learning: to hold on to what makes me smile, to what makes me sane. Because I imagine I’ll inspire Lucy far more with the passions I pursue than with those that I sacrifice. I want her to have a mother who nurtures others AND herself. And so, somehow, I’ll find time to finish my memoir, to continue writing. I’ll continue to make breakfasts like this: a scrambled egg sandwich with heaps of spinach between two thick slices of honey wheat bread. And Ryan and I will find time to be together, just the two of us. Maybe one day, I’ll even go visit a friend in New York on my own. But I’ll always come back to my greatest creation and my greatest joy. Because this truly is what motherhood is about. Lucille Amelia, you are more than my world. Your sweet face has worked its way into the very center of me. You are life.
The fact that you have the desire and energy to write is wonderful! When my daughter was born I sadly, slowly, stopped blogging. Not because I wanted to, but because I was so exhausted; she was not a good sleeper. Only recently have I been able to get back into the blogging world.
I agree with you- you need to keep doing what you love and your daughter will definitely be inspired by you and your passions. You’ve just inspired me!
Oh my gosh, I remember how frazzled and busy the early days are! Props to you for making time to write, especially when bf’ing. You are a super mom 🙂 Love love love seeing all the pictures of you and Lucy (you both look gorgeous) 🙂
Oh do I remember one handed typing! I was in grad school when my first was born- I typed many a paper late at night in the wee hours when she and my husband were both asleep. The rest of the time, it was one-handed typing! Enjoy this time, and the simple food that being a working mom necessitates!
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I love reading your blog Monet and I know I’d ADORE your memoir. Congratulations on graduating and doing such a wonderful job at mommy multi-tasking!
I can’t wait for your memoir! I agree that it’s important to share your passion and not sacrifice. Keeping those parts of yourself can only keep you more sane, in good spirits and have a positive impact on everything you do which includes being a great mom. Mother and write on, Monet! You’re inspiring and I hope when I have a child I can fulfill all that you have and will-with my own interests of course. Have a great weekend!
I can imagine it’s not easy to write now. But on the other hand it’s so amazing that Lucy is in your arms. You two look beautiful.
I miss doing things while my guy nursed. Now he’s so quick and infrequent that when we’re together both hands have to be ready to catch him or whatever he’s about to throw.
I just love how you’ve taken us with you =) Love your smiling face with the baby. Just lovely!
I love this post. And Lucy . . . she’s just perfect.
I have no idea how you’re managing to write and take care of a newborn, but good for you. It can’t be easy, but you’re right, Lucy will be way better off if she grows up watching you follow your dreams. That’s the best example you can set for her.
Sounds like you have transitioned into Mommy role effortlessly!!! Lucy is so cute!! What a lucky baby.. =)
Congrats on completing your MFA! Getting the diploma always makes it seem so real. 🙂
I think I wrote about 10 poems in the year after Lila was born– and they were ALL about motherhood, ha. And not very good either, haha. But, now that she’s a bit older, I’ve really been able to get back into my writing, finally. It just takes a while. I found that SUPER frustrating in the first few months, but after a while, I just accepted that writing would come back to me eventually and that I didn’t need to worry about it. Take it easy on yourself, and your writing, and enjoy the time with your girl!
The last picture says it all, with smiles on both of your faces! It’s so inspiring to read your posts about the challenges and joys of motherhood, and the balancing act that is being a mother and a writer and a person. You’re setting a wonderful example for little Lucy – you are blessed to have each other 🙂
Here’s to many days full of mothering and writing ahead!
Typing with one hand is really difficult! I’ve done it before for short periods of time (when I needed the other hand to multitask) and it takes so long! But so much of writing is actually the thinking, which is the hardest part. But of course you also need to work to get the best wording, pacing, and so forth, and that requires applying seat of pants to seat of chair. So it’s great that you tend to Lucy and can do some work at the same time. Great post – thanks.
You have already learned some of the most important lessons of motherhood…number one is to inspire Lucy with your zest for writing, baking and your other passions. I’m certain your memoir will be a done deal…give it time. xo
Hi Monet, mothers are all good at multi-tasking! I used to read and do loads of things while breastfeeding too!
Hi Monet,
That’s a super yummy looking breakfast! And typing with one hand is no fun! Haha! You are one determined lady! Way to go!
Both you and Lucy are looking wonderful!
All the best and wish you success in completing your writing!
Take care!
Wow, 2013 was quite a year for you! Congratulations on getting your masters! I’m sure you’ll find a way to balance motherhood and writing – it’ll just take time : )
It’s important to find balance in your life when you are a wife and mother. I know there is no one more suited for finding that balance than you Monet. I always look forward to what you write! Have a great week 🙂
I love this: “And so this is one of the first lessons I’m learning: to hold on to what makes me smile, to what makes me sane. Because I imagine I’ll inspire Lucy far more with the passions I pursue than with those that I sacrifice.”
What a wonderful revelation for every woman. We are always sacrificing, but at some point we have to ask ourselves at what cost. I’m endlessly inspired by you. I can’t wait to read your memoir!
Monet, all your energy is amazing and inspiring to all of us. I have the utmost respect for all your accomplishments and it fills my heart with great joy to see and read that all is well! All of your pictures are fantastic, dear friend!
Sending you big fat hugs and kisses from the girls!
Take good care!
Just saw your comment on my blog, coming at a time in which you are so overwhelmed, it was a special gift for me!
I’ve been sending links of your posts to my niece, who is pregnant with the third child and often wonders about the drawbacks of leaving her career as a lawyer behind. At least temporarily.
You are a true inspiration!
thanks again for stopping by….
Typing while nursing is definitely a challenge! I’m able to do it occasionally, but mostly I just use that time as a good excuse to do nothing except stare at the baby and/or relax. =) Glad to see that you’re still able to get some cookin’ + blogging done, even during this super intense, amazing, busy time!
You are amazing! I still remember when my kids were one month old. I didn’t have a blog back then but don’t remember I had such relaxing mood to even write. I love reading your stories and I can already imagine you are inspiring other moms to be or people who dream to be a mom one day by explaining your joy being a mom and you are fully enjoying every moment of it. Congrats on finishing your graduate program! What a great achievement in 2013 already!!
Multitasking already!! Congrats on finishing the grad program, what am amazing thing to do while being pregnant and having a baby and making cakes. You are amazing 🙂
Breakfast looks nommy
“Because I imagine I’ll inspire Lucy far more with the passions I pursue than with those that I sacrifice. I want her to have a mother who nurtures others AND herself.”…. I love that- soooo true!!!
Yet both the relayed second-hand compliment and the diatribe about the author’s personal motivation for writing the book are rather common inclusions in synopses. How common, you ask? Well, if I had a dime for every fiction synopsis or query I’ve seen that included the phrase, it isn’t autobiographical, but… — or every memoir synopsis that mentioned gratuitously, based on my real-life story… I would own my own miniscule island in the Caribbean.
cannot wait to read your memoir!!! 🙂
Monet, you are amazing and a true inspiration. I love this post so much. First, kudos on continuing to follow your passion with writing. I wholeheartedly agree that Lucy will admire you more for pursuing your dreams, working hard at it, and making sure you keep yourself fulfilled. That way, she can aspire for the same things in her own life. I have so many friends and family members who have literally given up everything in order to focus 100% on their kids. I’m not judging them or saying that it’s wrong – I just think that maybe they should have kept something for themselves, y’know? I love reading every word you write and I know that you’re going to finish your memoir, no problem. Congratulations on everything you’ve accomplished this year, Monet! There’s more to come, I’m sure of it.