22/52

Lucy is sleeping against my chest as I type. At eleven months and one week, she still likes to sleep close enough to hear my heart beat. I wear her now for at least two hours a day, which means that she’s both big and small. Small enough to be carried. Big enough to make her mama’s shoulders ache. Small enough to want to be this close. Big enough to remind me this time won’t last much longer.

Today is her papa’s 30th birthday. We woke up and made biscuits and gravy. Later this evening, we’ll feast on bahn mi and ice cream cake. Lucy barely understands it now, but she’s so blessed to have Ryan as a father. He is both strong and gentle, and he loves both of us more and better than I could have ever hoped for…happy Birthday sweet Ryan! The world is such a better place because of you.

Petite Apricot Pies

I tend to be an anxious person. If I let my mind go…well, I can end up in some pretty dark mental spaces. And so I’m learning the importance of choosing joy for my life and for my family. When I’m met with moments of fear or anxiety, I tell myself, “I choose joy,” and while not fool-proof, this simple mantra works most every time.

Because yes, the world can be scary, but it also swells with warmth and welcome and rest. I’m choosing to attend to the blessings I’ve been given: a beautiful daughter, a wonderful partner, and friends and family that most anyone would envy. I also get to do the things I love: bake, photograph, write. There is much to be joyful about.

When organic apricots went on sale last week, I picked up a few pounds. I’ve loved dried apricots since I was a little girl, but shamefully, I’d never tried the fresh variety. What I found was a tart, firm-fleshed, and sweet summer stone fruit. A new addition to our fruit bowl for sure. But because I bought so many, I turned the last few into these petite apricot pies. Beautiful to look at, even more delightful to eat, these miniature pies would be perfect for a summer picnic.

Petite Apricot Pies

One disc all-butter pie dough

3 ripe apricots, chopped

2-4 TBSP sugar (this depends entirely on the sweetness of your apricots and your tooth)

Lemon

2 TBSP apricot preserves

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. In a small bowl, combine chopped apricots with sugar and the juice from one lemon. Allow to sit while you prepare pie dough.

Roll out pie dough into a large 9-inch round. Using a small cookie cutter or biscuit cutter (about 3 inches in diameter) cut out 12 rounds of pie dough. You may need to roll scraps out again.

Gently press each round of dough into an ungreased mini muffin tin. Using your fingers, carefully ensure that the dough rises up to the edge. Spoon apricot mixture into each prepared mini pie. Be generous!

Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until fruit begins to caramelize ever so slightly and the crust turns a light golden brown. Remove and brush with apricot preserves. Allow to cool slightly before serving (with or without ice cream).

Peanut Butter Blondies

During my nineteenth year of life, I ate peanut butter blondies on a regular basis. My best friend and I had found a coffee shop downtown Denver that served up warm peanut butter blondies with scoops of vanilla ice cream. For a while, we were frequenting the Monkey Bean at least twice a week. We would say we’d split one, but inevitably, we’d polish off the first within a few minutes and then go back for a second.

Eight years later, and sadly our beloved coffee shop is now closed. And while I still like the thought of getting served a warm peanut butter blondie on a late Friday night, I think I’d much rather spend the afternoon baking my own. My best friend and I now both have baby girls, and it’s been a pleasure to see our passions change and grow. As I’ve mentioned a few times, we started a blog about pregnancy, birth, and parenthood called cord. You won’t find peanut butter blondies, but you will find beautiful birth stories, my photo project about breastfeeding, and thoughtful articles about the journey of motherhood. So come over and visit. We’d love to see you!

Peanut Butter Blondies

11/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons (½ cup) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
3 eggs, at room temperature
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
1/2 cup honey roasted peanuts

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line a 13 x 9 baking pan with aluminum foil. Spray foil lightly with oil or grease with butter. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. In a slightly larger bowl, whisk together melted butter and sugar until smooth. Stir in eggs and vanilla, beating well after each addition. Fold peanut butter into batter. Gently fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients and stir until well combined. Spread batter into prepared pan and then sprinkle generously with honey roasted peanuts. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes until only a few loose crumbs adhere to a toothpick when inserted into the center. Allow to cool completely before cutting and serving.

Bountiful Berry Muffins

Lucy was born in the height of June last summer. Berries had come to market and their sweetness was unmatched. I ate berries each morning and spent the days waiting for our little girl to make her arrival. For that reason, Lucy will always be my strawberry-girl.

Now, she’s eating berries of her own. Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries…she loves them all. But as any parent knows, babies and toddlers can be rather inconsistent in their eating habits. One day she’ll eat a dozen, the next day she’s content with just two or three. So after a few days of more milk than berries, I had some very ripe fruit in my refrigerator.

These berry muffins seemed like the perfect way to use up our uneaten produce…and after we took our first bite, we knew we’d now be going out to buy more berries just so we could make these again soon. This recipe calls for whole milk yogurt. And If you haven’t made muffins with yogurt before, you should. The yogurt adds moisture and a slight tang. It’s a perfect compliment to sweet berries. And berries: use a lot of them. I folded in blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries. My batter turned purple with my first spoon stroke.

Bountiful Berry Muffins

2 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 eggs

1 1/4 cup whole milk yogurt

2 eggs

1/2 stick butter, melted

1 1/2 cups berries, mixedPreheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Toss the berries in the flour mixture to prevent sinking.In a larger bowl, whisk together sugar, cinnamon, 2 eggs, yogurt, and butter until smooth. Gently fold dry ingredients and berries into wet ingredients. Do not overmix. Scoop batter into a standard muffin pan lined with paper tins or greased with butter. Bake for 15 to 18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Eleven Months of Lucille Amelia

Eleven months…and I spent most of yesterday thinking: my baby is almost one. She is becoming more and more of a little girl each day, and yet neither of us are ready to let go of her babyhood. The sweet snuggles, the night nursing sessions, the way she still loves to fall asleep on my chest…

Eleven months…and I can barely remember life without her. I haven’t slept through the night since the day she was born, and yet I wouldn’t have it any other way (well, maybe). The demands of motherhood can be exhausting at times…but they’re mere moments that quickly melt away. Her laughter. Her smiles. The way she mimics us. The pride she takes in her ability to throw a ball, to crawl, to clap her hands. This is what had made her first eleven months magical.

Eleven months…and I have so many people to thank. My mother. Ryan’s mom. My sisters. My friends. And of course, my sweet husband. Raising a child requires a village, and I’ve only come to believe this more and more. I love watching my daughter interact with her family. The delight she takes in them is only matched by the delight they take in her.

Eleven months…and she talks all the time. Mama, Papa, Dog, Cat, Chicken, Apple, Bird. The words continue to come, and each one is like a jewel to me. Nothing more precious. She crawls and pulls herself up on anything and everything, but she’s still not walking (and I’m actually quite happy she’s taking her time). She’s been ahead on the developmental milestones since birth, so I thought for sure we’d have an early walker. But I know she’ll walk when she’s ready…and then once she does…I’m sure she’ll run!

Eleven months…and I feel the deepest sense of joy watching my daughter in this world.