3 months of Lucille Amelia

Hard to believe, but we’ve had this little gem for over 13 weeks. As I type now, she coos and smiles at me. I read my writing out loud to her, so she listens to my blog posts and the new chapters of my memoir. Eventually, she’ll be reading, but as for now, she hears about baking, about family, about magical places we’ll one day go.

She gains strength and muscle control each day. Now when I hold her, she keeps her head up without any support. It won’t be long before she can sit by herself. On her 12th week birthday, she rolled over. Once for me and once for Ryan. More and more independence, which makes me both sad and proud. Motherhood, I guess!

I weighed her this morning on my bathroom scale, and she’s coming in a little over 14 lbs. She nurses all the time during the day. Probably every hour and a half. I don’t mind these times we spend together. She smiles now when she sees me lift up my shirt, and it makes all those difficult weeks of breastfeeding worth it. I wouldn’t trade this exchange for anything.

As for sleep? It also improved dramatically during the third month. She sleeps from ten to four without waking, and then we nurse once, and she goes back to sleep until seven. I’m more rested than I’ve been since delivering her, although I still can’t dip into that deep sleep I knew before. I’ve been told that sleep is never the same once you have children, and I think this is true. My first thought on waking? Her, always her.

And Lucy has found her voice. She babbles, she squeals, she yells. Even now, as I am trying to write and read these words out loud to her, she’s piping in with her own opinions. We have a feeling we’ll have a very talkative little girl. Margot is still her best friend and rarely leaves her side. Cricket is slowly slowly warming up to her.

I knew that being a mother would change my life, but I didn’t anticipate how this child would work her way into the deepest parts of me. I feel like my soul is divided amongst two bodies, and I carry her inside of me as well. What began in the womb now continues in the heart.

A huge thanks to my cousin, Andrea Robinson, who captured these beautiful photographs. She has a facebook page for her photography. I know she’d love a visit from you all!

Pumpkin Walnut Hand Pies

These were made in under an hour, all while entertaining a very fussy 3-month old. Entertaining means: dancing, singing, narrating, lifting, twirling, kissing. We even stopped mid-way to nurse. Have I told you how much I nurse this child? I don’t keep track but we’re on the couch at least every hour and a half. This means that at the end of a baking session, my kitchen is a colossal disaster. Gone are the days when I could clean up as I went…instead, every moment when my hand isn’t at work on a batter or a dough, I’m cradling and cuddling. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Luckily, Ryan is a champ in the kitchen too. He has cleaned up my messes in more ways than one, and I’m particularly thankful for his appearance when I set the timer on the oven and I survey the mess I’ve just created. I take the baby to nurse, yet again, and he starts scrubbing. By the time the pies or the muffins or the cookies are ready to leave the oven, I have a clean kitchen again. What a man I’ve got!

We’re having friends over for dinner tonight, which means I’ll spend ample time in the kitchen with Lucy today. We’ll dance while we whisk. We’ll sing while I chop. And we’ll nurse. We’ll nurse. We’ll nurse. Sweet Ryan will probably come through and clean up our mess at least three times before all the components of our dinner are finished. His reward will be kisses from me, smiles from Lucy, and hopefully a very good meal.

These Pumpkin Walnut Hand Pies will be the final course. I almost bought pre-made pie dough at the grocery store (consider the mess, I thought!) but then I looked at the ingredient list. Yuck. Thankfully, I’ve made pie dough enough times that it feels like second nature. And you simply can’t beat pie dough made from scratch. All that butter…

These came together beautifully, and I love how you can hold a pie in your hand. The walnut crumble adds a unique layer of crunch and sweetness to this classic fall dessert. I baked the walnut crumb separately and then sprinkled it on the pie. By baking it on a cookie sheet, I guaranteed that my topping would be evenly browned and crunchy. It’s worth trying, friends!

Pumpkin Walnut Hand Pies

1 disc pie dough

1 can pumpkin

12 oz half and half

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 eggs, lightly beaten.

1/2 cup flour

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 TBSP butter, chilled and cut into small cubes

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

On a lightly floured surface, roll out disc of pie dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Cut out 8 5 1/2-inch-round circles, gently re-rolling scraps as necessary. Gently but firmly press each dough circle into a standard muffin cup. Crimp edges as desired. Place muffins pan in freezer for at least 30 minutes before filling.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. In a small bowl, whisk together sugar, salt, and cinnamon. In a large bowl, whisk pumpkin with sugar-spice mixture. Stir in eggs and half and half. Whisk until well combined. Fill each individual pie with pumpkin mixture, leaving about a 1/4 inch of pie dough exposed. Place pan in oven and bake for ten minutes.

While baking, combine flour, brown sugar, and butter in a medium bowl. Using a pastry cutter or two forks, work the butter into the brown sugar and flour. Stir in walnuts. Spread mixture on baking sheet.

Leaving muffin pan in oven, reduce the temperature to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Continue baking for 30 minutes, or until pumpkin mixture has set. Bake crumb mixture for about ten minutes, or until just golden. Remove both pans from oven and allow to cool before removing. Sprinkle each pie with walnut crumb mixture.

Monet

Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Deconstructed Spring Roll Salad

I went to a sweet friend’s baby shower this afternoon. Of course, my own baby wanted to be the star of the show. She’s been fussy these past few days, and I should have known that her behavior would only intensify in the presence of others. I tried to nurse her, which meant I soon had milk running down my stomach and staining my shirt. At church, earlier that morning, I had to SOP milk off the chair I had nursed on. I’m talking PUDDLES ( I make A LOT of milk, which is both a blessing and a curse.)

So after my breast shot milk across the table and Lucy’s whimpers began to border on full-fledged yelps, I decided it was time for us to leave the shower. I carted her away in what’s quickly becoming my number one enemy: the car seat. Car seats are too heavy. I would pay someone a hefty sum to an invent a car seat that is remarkably safe while also being under two pounds.

If you can sense an air of discouragement in this post, you wouldn’t be far off the mark. I’m tired and on edge. I feel like a good night’s sleep, a long bath, and a dinner out with Ryan would do me some real good…but as you know, infants don’t allow for much “me” time.

But perhaps what I truly needed today, I did actually receive. Because before I left the baby shower, I got to hear the wisdom and words of the women in attendance. We each went around and gave advice to the mother-to-be. I know I wasn’t the only one that teared up during this timeless transmission. Women (old, young, mothers, not-mothers) shared their hearts and wisdom. We reminded each other of the value in MOTHER. Because we were all children once, and if we were lucky, we remember what it felt like to be so completely loved.

And so I must remember this. My daughter is more than I could have imagined. She stretches me, she breaks me, she captivates me. I bring her to my breast now and she smiles as she nuzzles close. Her laughter is richer than any sound I’ve heard. Her unintelligible syllables are far more moving than any line of poetry I’ve read. And when she sighs as she rests her head on my chest and I can feel her breath deepen as she falls asleep, I know that what I’m doing–mothering–is the both the best and the hardest job in the world.

And in the culinary world: This deconstructed spring roll salad made an appearance on our dining room table a few weeks ago. They make for an immensely popular appetizer or a light weekday lunch. The first batch I made was gone within minutes. The tangy sauce, the crispy wonton shell, and the flavorful pork made for food that was delightful to eat and to admire.

Deconstructed Spring Roll Salad

*From McCormick Spices

2 tablespoons fish sauce

2 tablespoons rice vinegar

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons sesame oil

1 tablespoon chopped chives

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon red chili sauce

2 boneless pork chops, 1/2 inch thick

1/2 cup carrots

5 cups spring green mix

12 wonton wrappers

Mix fish sauce, vinegar, sesame oil, sugar, chives, soy sauce and chili sauce in small bowl with wire whisk until well blended. Reserve 1/2 of the vinaigrette. Place pork chops in resealable plastic bag or glass dish. Add remaining vinaigrette; toss to coat well. Refrigerate 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Spray both sides of wonton wrappers with no stick cooking spray. Place a 12-cup muffin tin upside down. Press a wonton wrapper around the outside of each muffin cup. Bake 3 to 5 minutes or until wonton wrappers are lightly browned. Cool on wire rack.

Grill or broil pork chops until desired doneness. Cool slightly. Cut into thin strips. Mix salad greens, pork and carrot in large bowl. Add reserved vinaigrette; toss to coat well. Fill wonton cups with salad mixture. Serve immediately.

Monet

Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Little Things

Simple shots of our life this past week. Tune back next week for a similar post! I’d also love to have you follow me on Instagram (@cakestand) if you’re interested in more photos of food and baby!

Lucy turned 12 weeks old. And rolled over.

Apple Caramel Hand Pies

The weather got cool and we got cooler.

Denver. Capitol Hill. Where Ryan and I lived at the beginning of it all.

Cornmeal Cake with Honey Apricot Frosting

My pensive girl.

Monet

Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Cornmeal Cake with Honey Apricot Frosting

My dear friend is having our family over for dinner on Saturday night, and she’s making what I’m sure will be a delectable feast. We chatted this morning, exchanging quick messages as I tried to keep Lucy content and she multi-tasked at work. Such is life with a newborn. I wish I had more time to dedicate to long letters and lengthy lunches. But instead, I try my best with the little time Lucy does allow, and I pray that my friends will continue to be gracious.

She told me she’s making a cornmeal cake for our dessert, and the mere thought of what was to come got me hankering to bake. I browsed online for inspiration and happily took out my pans and bowls a few hours later. While Lucy slept (she took a 2 1/2 hour nap today) I made this cake. The cake itself is moist and sweet. With a 1/2 cup of cornmeal, the batter has a rich golden hue and tastes faintly of your grandmother’s cornbread. The frosting is simple and came together in minutes. Butter, powdered sugar, dried apricots,honey, and my secret ingredient: sour cream. Sour cream gives the frosting a lovely consistency while also cutting back on some of the sweetness.

But what I like about this cake the most was how elegant it looked upon completion. With Lucy, I’m in need of cakes that present beautifully without a lot of time or fuss. All this cake required was a good serrated knife and a few hefty globs of frosting. I put her in one of my vintage cake stands and called it a day.

Cornmeal Cake with Honey Apricot Frosting

1/2 cup stone ground corn meal

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cups granulated sugar

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs

1 1/4 cup whole milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Frosting:

1/2 cup butter, room temperature

2 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup sour cream

1/4 cup chopped dried apricots

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease two 6-inch cake pans and line with parchment paper. Set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. In a small bowl, whisk together oil, eggs, milk, and vanilla. Fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients and mix until well combined. Divide batter between two prepared cake pans. Bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes or until cake is a rich golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Remove cakes from oven and allow to cool ten minutes before removing from pan. Allow the cakes to COMPLETELY cool on a wire rack before cutting or frosting.

To make frosting, cream together butter and powdered sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer. Add in sour cream and honey. Cream until well combined. Fold in dried apricots.

To assemble cake: cut each cooled cake in half. Place one half on serving plate. Cover with a generous coat of frosting. Repeat with two more layers and cover the final layer with a hefty dose of frosting on top. (You will have on extra layer…you can snack on it now or later). Enjoy!